I LOVED reading my students' pet peeve articles. They were creatively crafty and stylistically sophisticated. On my bulletin board, I posted 4 exemplary excerpts from each class. Check out some below:
It’s a pretty good thing it was a derby though because I mean, who needs brakes when you can stop yourself by hitting another car? And no power steering? No problem. I just put my arms to work and drove to my best ability.
-From “Little Cheaters”, by Courtney Kafline
The problem didn’t occur until the person decided to crack-every-joint-in-their-fingers-like-the-heathen-they-are.
-From “The Crack of a Finger” by Emma Corbett
Not to mention the damage lights could do. They could cause fires, migraines or headaches, could make you sneeze (which is really annoying, no one likes sneezing), and could potentially cause eye damage.
-From “Shut. It. OFF.” by Connor Waryasz
Let’s start by saying that lunch time in the car is far from enjoyable in my family. A pandemoniac scene breaks out, passing food throughout the car, people begging for their Big Mac before they “die of starvation’. But by the time it’s over, we’re all completely silent, inhaling our extremely unhealthy fast food.
-From “Car Clutter” by Gavin Macaulay
I just hate it. Simply, hate it. If you know you’re doing it, then by all means, continue, because I get headaches, naturally, from your inconsiderate, repetitive, and obnoxious banter at my ears and brain.
-From “SCREAMING THE PROBLEM?” by Greg Haggerty
So while I was trying to finish my. Sniff. Test. All I could heard was. Sniff. The sniffing was so repetitive it was like constant gunfire. So some. Sniff. Time went on and then. Sniff. I realized I was finally onto the essay, despite the distracting. Sniff. In the air. So I wrote, and wrote, and wrote til I was finally on the last paragraph.
Then, I heard It…
-From “Test Takers and Runny Noses” by John McGrath
I was placed next to my NEMESIS. Mr. Clicks-a-lot. Every time there is a test in math there he is with his G2 pilot pen. He originally had three (scary isn’t it three clicking at a time) but they either got confiscated or he lost them. After the test was five minutes in, it began.
-From “The Racketeer” by Deon Rollock
The level of irritation I have with my cat is beyond words. But for now she remains sleeping on the right side of my pillow, dreaming of eating (since that’s all she does) and snoring as loud as a freight train.
-From “Sleepless Over Snoring” by Kadyn Miller
Don’t you hate when you are just walking down the public school hall and then as you round the corner you see two people canoodling?
Well I do. It’s such an amazing journey, love is. Except when you see it and hear it right in front of you. The slobbery lips smashing together to make a noise that makes you cringe. Or maybe it’s the pet names and the babying. Either way, it should not be done in public.
-From “Anti-Canoodling” by Mae Muncy